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2014 Jaguar F-Type

Stepping Into The Lion's Den With A Big-Hearted Cat
If you're like me - and our demographics suggests you are - you've probably never seen a new Jaguar sportscar at your local showroom. I'm 36, and it hasn't happened in my lifetime... and not by a little bit. Oh, there have been a string of XK coupes and convertibles, and as of late, there have even been some genuine high-performance specials - namely the R, R-S and R-S GT models - but their basis has always been the 2+2 grand tourer shell, not a lighter and smaller footprint with more intrinsic sporting intent. The truth is that it's been a half-century since Jaguar introduced a proper new sportscar. Today, most people know the brand strictly as a purveyor of wood- and hide-lined luxury sedans.
In fact, if you're not an enthusiast with some appreciation for the marque's history, it's a bit odd to hear Jaguar executives proclaim that they are a sportscar company and always have been. By their reckoning, the 2014 F-Type seen here is in fact a return to form, a Rip Van Winkled brand pillar reanimated and reimagined to take center stage. It's a sentiment that must be particularly odd for car shoppers in developing markets like China, where Jaguar hasn't even been selling cars for very long. Yet because the original 1961 E-Type is perhaps the most gorgeous car ever to lay ply on the world's roads, we're prepared to cut them some slack.

Watch this bad parker get what's coming to him

If you're lucky enough to have a nice vehicle, do your fellow gearheads a favor and don't park like a clown. Seriously. Not only will you anger everyone who is trying to find a place to park, but your nice car is a billboard reinforcing the stereotype that car people are self-important and inconsiderate.
Take this gentleman for example. He has a Jaguar XK, and understandably wants to take care of it. Rather than parking it far, far away from any other cars and getting a bit of exercise by walking to his building, he takes up two spots (albeit barely) close to the structure. From the cameraman's narration, we can tell his coworkers are less than thrilled about his inability to stay between the lines.
Naturally, they wanted to teach him a lesson, so they parked a bigger vehicle as close to his driver's door as possible. Mr. XK's attempts to enter his vehicle are rather amusing, culminating in his climbing through the passenger side and scooching over to the driver's seat. While we can debate this sort of treatment all day long, it was effective. The video includes a follow up at the end showing where the XK driver parked the next day, and as you might guess, it wasn't in the same spot.

Jaguar's XFR-S Sportbrake looks to be one hot kinschlepper

This is the Jaguar XFR-S Sportbrake, which is too cool for North American sale (the Sportbrake, not the XFR-S sedan, which we're getting soon). Like the XFR-S four-door, it has a 5.0-liter, supercharged V8 pumping out around 550 horsepower.
Our spy photographer's x-ray vision is saying that a ZF eight-speed automatic will be the gearbox of choice for the XFR-S wagon, which fits with the sedan, as well. The Sportbrake also has the usual high-performance touches, with huge air intakes in the front fascia, big wheels wrapped in low-profile tires, a dropped suspension and a rear end that's wearing a diffuser and a pair of meaty, quad exhausts. We're happy to see that the XFR-S Sedan's rear spoiler - or some iteration thereof - isn't here to mangle the Sportbrake's beautiful shape.
Where the this super-fast hauler will debut remains a question. There's virtually zero chance of it arriving at an American auto show (although we do endorse that, and any other decision that brings this wagon to our shores), which likely means it'll be in Europe. The Frankfurt Motor Show and Geneva Motor Show seem like the leading contenders, but we'll just have to wait and see.