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Mark Webber treats Maria Sharapova to a Porsche 918 Spyder joyride

We don't much like Mark Webber right now. Part of being a racing driver is dealing with promotional stuff. It's not hard to find a driver that can't stand all this nonsense, whether it be promoting a product, meeting investors or attending some obscure event. Even a driver of Webber's caliber - a former Formula One driver for Red Bull Racing and a member of Porsche's factory Le Mans team - has to serve his time at the promo events.
Somehow, though, we don't think the Aussie driver minds this particular promo detail. In the video below, Webber attends the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart. He then takes tennis superstar Maria Sharapova out for a spin behind the wheel of the Porsche 918 Spyder. The level of jealousy at the Autoblog office is palpable.
Take a look below for the video. And as we're super jealous of Mr. Webber, hop into Comments and caption the above photo based on what you think he's saying to Maria. Bonus points if you can work "vegemite" into the caption.

Porsche would have entered F1 if Audi had blocked its Le Mans program

Go back a few years and you may have heard rumors of Porsche heading into Formula One. That never came to pass - or at least, it hasn't yet - but that doesn't mean that it wasn't close to happening. That's how committed to returning to top-level motorsport competition Porsche has become recently.
Autosport reports that just as Porsche was merging fully into the Volkswagen Group, Zuffenhausen was weighing its options for a factory racing program. Le Mans was its favorite, which makes sense, as it remains far and away the most successful constructor in the history of the famous endurance race. But the strategists at Porsche were worried that its new corporate overlords at Volkswagen wouldn't support two LMP1 programs and would favor Audi, which has positively dominated the modern era of endurance racing, coming second only to Porsche in the number of Le Mans victories it has scored to date.
Porsche's Plan B was reportedly to head into Formula One, although it isn't clear if the German automaker was intent on starting its own team, buying an existing one or merely providing engines to other teams. Porsche fielded its own cars in F1 in the late 1950s and early 60s, and returned as an engine supplier with TAG to power McLaren in the 1980s, powering Niki Lauda and Alain Prost to the World Championship in 1984 and 1985.

Parents of terminally ill child sue after son dies following make-a-wish-style ride

Some stories are so sad and depressing, they make you want to go back to bed and pull the covers over your head. This is one such story. 14-year-old Raphael Wittman was suffering from an unspecified form of terminal cancer when he was invited by the children's cancer charity Kinder Krebs Hilfe to a charity drive organized by Porsche Forum Austria. During the drive, the Porsche Boxster Wittman was riding in was involved in a head-on collision. Both of his legs were broken and he bit off his tongue in the wreck. He died seven weeks later, in a Vienna hospital. Now, his father is suing the charity, claiming that the accident robbed his son of the will to live.
"The accident set off a chain of events starting with the doctors putting him on new medication for the cancer he had. He was always a fighter, but suddenly he was saying that he was not going to fight any more," Franz Wittman told Austria's Kurier, according to The Guardian. "We would have had a wonderful last time together [on vacation] but it never happened because of the accident."
Father and son were originally planning to go to Tenerife to spend time together, although those plans were cancelled following the accident.