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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

BMW, Mini aim to sell million cars off new FWD platform

Mini sold 301,526 cars in 2012; BMW sold 1.54 million of its own models. According to a piece in Autocar, analysts say the coming UKL1 platform that will form the skeleton of the third-generation Mini Cooper and coming front-wheel drive BMW 1 Series could be responsible for "more than 900,000 cars per year" all by itself.
That sale fire is fueled by the UKL1 wearing up to twenty-three bodies in total between the two brands, 11 for Mini and 12 for BMW, rendering hatchbacks, sedans, coupes, convertibles, wagons, crossovers and people-haulers from about 12.5 feet to 14.5 feet. In April the VP of Mini USA said we might find some current models don't make it to a next generation, but a graphic accompanying the Autocar story has them all there. If it's correct, then those 23 models will only base model lines and don't account for different engines and four-wheel-drive options for each model.
The big changes that would perhaps mean big sales for the Mini line are a five-door hatch with two smaller rear doors for children, the sedan talked about last year for Asian markets and an MPV perhaps wearing the "Traveler" name that could send the Countryman in a more SUV-like direction.

Mini knows how you take your coffee after a test drive

Mini Netherlands wanted to give its countrymen a good reason to test drive its cars, so it threw in a free cup of coffee with the spin - but not just any old cuppa joe. Cars were fitted with a sensor that analyzed the driver's style. The chip was then placed in a special coffeemaker that produced a blend to match the driving; middle-of-the-road test pilots would get a lungo (long) coffee, test-the-rollcage types were given a ristretto (short, and stronger).
The knock on the head for U.S. drivers? Milquetoast test drivers were given an Americano - a watered-down espresso. You can watch the unique promotion at work in the video below.