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Brabus to storm Geneva with 800-hp version of Mercedes SL65 AMG

At no point during our recent drive of the 2013 Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG did we ever think, "You know, this thing sure is slow." After all, Merc's range-topping SL comes fitted with a twin-turbocharged 6.0-liter V12 capable of sending 621 horsepower and 738 pound-feet of torque to the rear wheels. But just in case you're still all "meh" about what the SL65 throws down, Brabus will gladly come to your rescue with this, the 800 Roadster.
As its name suggests, the 800 Roadster ups the V12's power figures to 800 horsepower and - wait for it - 1,047 pound-feet of torque. Don't get too excited, though - that torque number has been electronically limited to a measly 811 lb-ft since, you know, the transmission would probably explode if you tried to put the full force through it. Nevertheless, these represent increases of 79 hp and 73 lb-ft over the standard SL65, and that means the 800 Roadster can shoot to 62 miles per hour in just 3.7 seconds - two-tenths of a second quicker than the Merc its based on. More impressively, hitting 124 mph takes just under 10 seconds, and the droptop will finally top out at an electronically limited - limited! - 217 mph. Holy smokes.
To manage all of that speed, Brabus has engineered a special carbon fiber aero kit that reduces lift, and a unique control module for the SL65's active body control suspension lowers the ride height by one full inch. The 800 Roadster rides on new 20-inch wheels, and a unique limited-slip rear differential was added, featuring a 40 percent locking rate that further enhances performance when you're attempting to control the beast at its limits. Interior upgrades include new leather and alcantara surfaces throughout the cabin, including a leather-clad trunk.

2013 Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG

Make way for the 2013 Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG, the most wonderfully preposterous car I have ever driven.
There is absolutely no reason why any two-seat roadster should be fitted with a twin-turbocharged 6.0-liter V12 developing 621 horsepower and 738 pound-feet of torque, but I sure am glad that Mercedes-Benz doesn't see things that way.
Drop into the leather-lined cockpit of this $213,145 provocateur, floor the accelerator pedal as I did over and over again, and 60 miles per hour falls in a traction-limited 3.9 seconds. Top speed has been electronically held to 186 mph (this apparently saves Gulfstream jet owners from embarrassment). Forget the SL550 and SL63 AMG, the valets will trip over themselves attending to the tycoon driving this thoroughbred - it's the real deal.

Watch this perfectly nice Mercedes get crushed by a front-end loader

In a world where the YouTube hoax continues to thrive, it's hard to know what to think of this little vid, but here are the facts as we know them: a coupe that looks like a first-generation Mercedes-Benz CLK gets crushed by a giant front-end loader. There you have it.
Our questions arise in the aftermath - we know industrial resource machinery is heavy, but the Benz gets squashed so flat we wonder if someone's trying to play a joke on us. We hear that the white coupe may have been the heavy-equipment operator's foreman's car, but who knows? The on-camera interview seems awfully conveniently placed, yes? See for yourself in the video below and then leave us your thoughts in Comments.