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Lincoln needs a farewell address, not a new marketing plan

The trouble with Ford's Lincoln brand is that no one cares about it any more.
Not long after I heard that Mark LaNeve, chief operating officer of Ford agency Team Detroit, was moving to take over direct operations of the New York ad agency Hudson Rouge for Lincoln, I heard that JCPenney CEO Ron Johnson was ousted. The two events are connected.

Consumer Reports says these are the worst new cars of 2014

Consumer Reports has announced its annual list of worst vehicles, a cringe-inducing contrast to its list of top vehicles. Ignominiously leading the way in 2014 is Chrysler, which has a staggering seven models listed.
Jeep nearly sweeps the small SUV segment by itself, with its Compass, Patriot and 2.4-liter version of the new Cherokee, while the only midsize sedans listed by CR were the Chrysler 200 and Dodge Avenger. The new Dodge Dart and the Dodge Journey round out CR's condemnation of Chrysler.
Ford is taking heat as well, with the Taurus, Edge and their counterparts from Lincoln all listed as the worst vehicles in their respective segments. Toyota doesn't fare much better, with its Lexus IS, Scion iQ and tC also making the list.

Lincoln video teases new things to come... but what?

Lincoln has released a new video teasing... something. In what looks to be an advertisement for more advertising, the company has worked up a clip featuring everything from a drum solo and a flying hawk to Abraham Lincoln himself. The video shows a few shots of what looks to be an MKZ and promises more news is coming on Monday.
What does the company have up its sleeves? Rumors are bouncing around the web like so many ill-informed ping-pong balls, and cover everything from an alternative powertrain for the MKZ to a new two-door model - noise that is underscored by the presence of a Ford Mustang chassis lurking in the background of the video around the 27-second mark (see screen capture above).
Could Lincoln be considering a rear-wheel drive luxury coupe built on the pony's bones? A move like that seems awfully unlikely, but it certainly wouldn't hurt our feelings. Either way, we'll find out more tomorrow. In the interim, check out the teaser video below for yourself.