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Jaguar XE promises to net 'over 75 mpg,' just not for us [w/video]

With around a month away from its world debut on September 8, Jaguar continues to issue a constant drip of updates about its upcoming XE compact luxury sedan that's aiming to take on the BMW 3 Series and Audi A4. Where the company's last bit of info focused on the car's suspension setup, this time Jag's putting the spotlight on the new model's modular platform and making some big promises about it, too. How big? Try over 75 miles per gallon big.
That's the headline figure that Jaguar is claiming for its new sedan, but it's keeping mum on just what powertrain will realize that figure. Furthermore, that result is on the European test cycle, which is more lenient than America's EPA testing regime. In any case, when the XE hits the road, Jag says it will be the most efficient vehicle from the company, ever.
That's thanks in no small part to the aluminum-intensive monocoque chassis underpinning the sedan. It's constructed from a new grade of the lightweight metal called RC 5754 that uses a high portion of recycled material. "The Jaguar XE body uses over 75-percent aluminum content, which far exceeds any other car in its class. This gives us a body structure with unrivaled low weight: it's light but also immensely strong with extremely high levels of torsional stiffness," said Dr. Mark White, Jaguar Chief Technical Specialist; Body Complete.

Jaguar XJ220 hooned remotely by a kid

The Tax the Rich crew has a knack for indulging in automotive fantasies and capturing it all on video, such as a tug-of-war battle between two Ferrari F50s, drifting a Ferrari Enzo on gravel roads and even powersliding a Rolls-Royce Phantom on a field of wet grass. This latest video features a Jaguar XJ220 and a kid with an iPad, who somehow is able to control the old supercar with the Apple product.
No, there's no app for that (yet), and we lied - the boy isn't actually controlling the car - but it sure is nice to see the XJ220 in all its turbocharged, six-cylinder glory doing donuts and sliding across a grassy field. It jolts us to see the old Jaguar - capable of 217 miles per hour and once described by Jeremy Clarkson as having no brakes and massive turbo lag - thrown about like a rally car, but then we never imagined anybody would abuse a Rolls-Royce like that either. We'll continue to leave the high-stakes antics to Tax the Rich - we're just glad somebody had the guts to behave so badly in such a valuable machine. What else were they made for?
Be sure to check out the video below, if you have a pulse.

Jaguar releases Desire short film starring F-Type and Damian Lewis

After stoking the hype with a theatrical-style trailer, Jaguar has finally released the full-length version of its mini-movie, Desire, to help kick off the new 2014 Jaguar F-Type. Starring Homeland actor Damian Lewis across from the lovely Shannyn Sossamon, the film has been turned loose on YouTube after an initial debut at the Sundance London film and music festival.
Shot in Chile's rather breathtaking Atacama Desert, Desire is described by the producers as being "A story of betrayal, retribution, passion and greed." Lewis plays the lead role of Clark, a high-end car delivery guy (great work if you can get it), who runs into an unexpected, sexy mystery when shuttling the lovely F-Type to the middle of nowhere. Who could have guessed?
We won't spoil any of the not-exactly-serious 13-minute plot for you; scroll down below to see for yourself if the theatrical pomp and circumstance is worthy of Jag's newest roadster.