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Ford Explorer Jackson Pollock Edition results in trip to hospital

Among the many useful pieces of driving advice we've taken to heart over the years, "Safely secure all cargo" is etched pretty high on our personal stone tablets. We've had a couple of frustrating moments over the years (numerous wonky cupholders and too-tall lidded cups; a radar detector that released its suction cups and dashed itself below the dashboard, etc.), but never anything like the scene above.
These photos above come courtesy of the Washington State Patrol, and they show the unfortunate aftermath of a driver, his dog, and his Ford Explorer after it crashed near the town of Belfair last week. According to reports, the man was schlepping five-gallon containers of paint inside his vehicle when he was involved in an unexplained accident. It's not clear what triggered the crash, but the impromptu abstract painting covered the whole of the interior, including the driver and his faithful companion.
The man was transported to a local hospital for minor injuries, and his dog was cleaned and later taken to a humane society.

Ford won't be releasing GT500 lap times for the 'Ring, or any other car

Trucks have towing capacity, EVs have driving range and performance cars have Nürburgring lap times. What do all three have in common? They should all be taken with a grain of salt. Currently, there is no sanctioned way to record lap times or verify production-spec cars - a lesson we recently learned with the 2015 Nissan GT-R Nismo - and until there is a way to do so (and there probably never will be), we'll never officially know the actual time it took for Ford to lap the 'Ring with its ultra-powerful Shelby GT500.
After posting a Ford-made video of a 2013 GT500 running around the 'Ring, the guys over at SVTPerformance.com (an enthusiasts forum not affiliated with Ford or SVT) wanted more answers. They got in touch with Ford's Global Performance Vehicle Chief Engineer Jamal Hameedi, who said until there is a way to verify the times and inspect the cars, Ford will not get involved with lap-time wars. In the email, Hameedi pointed out that the 'Ring is a useful tool in that it allows a wide spectrum of track conditions, but until there is a governed way to record times, there is no way to accurately compare cars head-to-head.
And as much as some may not like it, Hameedi speaks the truth. It really isn't possible to compare times from one car to another, unless those cars were lapping the same track at the same time with the same driver. Not that any of this means there won't be continuous wars by fans and manufacturers alike... in other words, feel free to voice your opinions in the Comments below.

Preposed class-action lawsuit targets 'defective' MyFord Touch

A national law firm, Hagens Berman Sobol Shapiro LLP, has filed a proposed class action lawsuit whose presupposition is that MyFord Touch is defective. Specifically, the complaint states that the system - as well as the MyLincoln Touch and MyMercury Touch clones - often freeze, fail to respond to voice or touch commands and have issues connecting to mobile phones.
According to Hagens Berman managing partner Steve Berman, MyFord Touch is a theoretically "brilliant idea" that falls short in actual execution. Said Berman in a press release, "In reality, the system is fundamentally flawed, failing to reliably provide functionality, amounting to an inconvenience at best, and a serious safety issue at worst."
Other MFT issues enumerated within the 41-page filing include problems controlling the window defroster, rear-view camera and navigation system. The suit maintains that Ford is aware of the problem but has yet to submit a workable and acceptable solution to MFT customers. Scroll down if you'd like to read the full press release.