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Race Recap: At the Abu Dhabi grand prix, the caravan chases a mirage

Both championships have been claimed this year, with Sebastian Vettel taking the Driver Championship and Infiniti Red Bull Racing the Constructor's. But there's no skunk rule in Formula One, so the last three races of the schedule are going on as scheduled.
Abu Dhabi was the latest venue, and what the Yas Marina Circuit has lacked in racing excitement, it has more than made up for in drama. It's where Lewis Hamilton always does well and should have won but for an engine blow-up. That lead to Kimi Räikkönen taking the first win of his return, and giving Lotus its first win. It's where a championship was decided when Fernando Alonso was stuck behind Vitaly Petrov and Timo Glock and couldn't put up a fight against Vettel. And this year, it was where Mark Webber again out-qualified his Red Bull teammate and grabbed pole, just three rounds away from retirement.
He was followed by Vettel, the Mercedes-AMG Petronas pair of Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton, the unstoppable Nico Hülkenberg in the first Sauber in fifth, Romain Grosjean in the first Lotus, Felipe Massa in the first Ferrari, Sergio Perez in the McLaren, Daniel Ricciardo in the Toro Rosso and Alonso in the second Ferrari in tenth. Tenth.

Get a load of these crazy European Nimrods

I've been attending the Geneva Motor Show for the better part of a decade, and it's become my favorite stop on the entire show circuit, in large part because of all the exotic automakers, coachbuilders and green startups. I also love the Palexpo's consistently mind-bending displays of tuners, who typically work exclusively on six-figure automobiles. Some offer subtle improvements and personalization programs, but most seem hellbent on being more outlandish and bizarre than the next, a room full of millionaire class clowns. More often than not, I spy something and think to myself "What kind of Nimrod would do that to a perfectly good ____ ?" This year, that rhetorical question is in fact a self-answering one.
The jokes, they write themselves.
But seriously, if you're wondering who would take a perfectly lovely Ferrari 458 Italia or a Lamborghini Aventador and affix a wild body kit of dubious aerodynamic and aesthetic merit at great extra cost (both to the car's MSRP and to its assuredly grenaded resale value), the answer could very well be Nimrod Elite Tuning, a newer high-end restyling house out of Slovakia. That last locational tidbit might also explain the company's unusual name, which is likely a nod to a mighty Biblical hunter (descendant of Ham and a king of Shinar, Nimrod is mentioned in Genesis and Chronicles) and not meant to be taken as a synonym for "idiot" or "moron."

Recap: 2013 Australian Formula One Grand Prix is all about the rubber [w/spoilers]

A pre-season full of talking points was swapped for a brand-new set of talking points after the running of the opening grand prix of the 2013 Formula One season. The consistency of the regulations from last year to this year and the triplicate dominance of Infiniti Red Bull Racing meant that no one would have been that surprised if the relative order of things remained the same. But teams found so many ways to switch things up that, in typical pre-season fashion, no one was ready to make any bets on in-season performance, and a couple of surprising players suffered the ignominy of getting it really wrong: McLaren knew it was in trouble from the very first test, while Williams drivers applauded their car as the best in years, only to have Pastor Maldonado call it "undriveable" on the very first day of practice in Melbourne.
And then there were those Pirellis, the Italian company talking up the fact that its super soft tires would only go off so quickly that it would force teams to pit at least twice during the race.
Even then, no one could have seen the first round of pit stops beginning on Lap 5.