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The List: The Red BMW - A Retrospective

We can't help but use this time of year to look back at the days before and reminisce about friends who are no longer in our lives. For The List, Jessi and Patrick were often joined by a little, red BMW 3 Series that, at times, felt like a third host of the show. Having been bought used for just a thousand bucks, the red BMW proved to be surprisingly durable. Through jumps, dunks and monster trucks, it remained our little trooper 'till the very end, and on the way taught us all how important a faithful four-wheeled companion is to the life's work of completing one's automotive bucket list.
For our last episode of The List in 2013, we give you The Red BMW - A Retrospective.
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2016 BMW X5 M is big and bold, not beautiful

Awesome as it is, the BMW X5 M has never really been an attractive machine. Big and bulgy are the themes here, and that's only more pronounced with the X5's most recent refresh. But no matter, the X5 M has never been about looks - for this machine, it's all about performance, and BMW's hi-po crossover absolutely delivers in this regard.
Under the hood is the familiar 4.4-liter, twin-turbo V8, though power has been boosted to 567 horsepower and 553 pound-feet of torque - healthy increases of 12 and 53, respectively, compared to the outgoing model. Hitting 60 miles per hour is said to take just four seconds, which is damn impressive considering this thing weighs well over 5,000 pounds.
But the X5 M has always been shockingly good to drive, with limits you'll never reach except in the most hardcore track scenarios (which we'd really like to see, by the way). It's not the prettiest thing ever, but that's okay. It's not exactly cheap, though, with prices starting at $99,650. Woof.

The Homer to contest 24 Hours of LeMons

It's finally happened. A 24 Hours of LeMons team has built the definitive interpretation of The Homer from The Simpsons for competition in an upcoming race. As you may recollect, The Homer is the fictional car designed by Homer Simpson for his brother's car company. Designed with a separate compartment for screaming children and other Homer-centric goodies, the animated machine bankrupted its parent company and put Homer's brother out of a job. Now we get to watch it race other crap cans as it tackles Southern California's Buttonwillow Raceway on June 29. Scott Chamberlain, Kris Linquist, Reid Conti, Ben Reilly and Mike Yepes will helm the machine, and Jeff Herman serves as the team's creative director.
The racer is the latest incarnation of a well-abused BMW 3 Series. The team campaigned the same E30 under the "Prickstine" banner as a Chrysler Imperial tribute and "Porcubimmer," the latter being a riff on the ever-popular joke about the difference between porcupines and BMW models. Never gets old. You can check out a video of the finished Homer below, and be sure to like the team on Facebook to see updates from the race. Now, about that Canyonero...